Have you ever stopped and wondered, “Why am I so easily irritated lately?” or “This doesn’t feel like me…” For many women in their 40s and early 50s, these emotional shifts can feel confusing, frustrating, and sometimes even a bit scary. One moment you’re fine, the next moment you feel overwhelmed, impatient, or suddenly muram without a clear reason. You may also feel constantly letih, even when you’ve had rest. If this sounds familiar, you are not alone—and more importantly, there is a real reason behind it.
During perimenopause, which is the transition phase leading up to menopause, your hormones—especially estrogen and progesterone—begin to fluctuate. This phase can start earlier than expected, sometimes in your late 30s or early 40s, and it often comes quietly without much awareness. Unlike menopause, where hormones settle at a lower level, perimenopause is a period of ups and downs. One day your hormones may be relatively stable, and the next day they drop or spike unexpectedly. These fluctuations don’t just affect your body—they have a direct impact on your brain and emotional state.
Estrogen plays a very important role in how your brain functions. It helps regulate key neurotransmitters such as serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine, which are responsible for mood, motivation, and focus. When estrogen levels fluctuate, these brain chemicals also become unstable. This can result in mood swings, irritability, anxiety, and feelings of being muram. You may find yourself reacting more strongly than usual, feeling overwhelmed by things that never used to bother you, or becoming more sensitive in conversations and relationships. It’s not that your personality has changed—it’s that your brain chemistry is temporarily out of balance.
Many women describe this phase as feeling like they have become a “different person.” You may notice that your patience is shorter, your tolerance is lower, and your emotions feel harder to control. You might snap at loved ones, feel easily frustrated at work, or suddenly lose interest in things you once enjoyed. At the same time, you may feel guilty for reacting this way, which adds another layer of emotional stress. This can be very confusing internally because you know who you are—but your reactions don’t seem to match that version of yourself.
Often, these symptoms are dismissed as “just stress.” While stress is definitely a contributing factor, it is usually not the full story. During perimenopause, your body becomes more sensitive to stress, and your ability to cope with pressure may feel reduced. Situations that you previously handled calmly may now feel overwhelming. This is not because you are weaker—it is because your hormonal balance is shifting, affecting how your brain processes emotions and stress.
One of the most important aspects to understand is the link between perimenopause and depression, or feeling muram for extended periods. Research has shown that women in perimenopause are more likely to experience depressive symptoms compared to earlier stages of life. A study published in the journal JAMA Psychiatry found that women going through the menopause transition have a higher risk of developing major depressive episodes, even if they have no previous history. Similarly, findings from Harvard Medical School suggest that the risk of depression can increase two to four times during perimenopause due to hormonal fluctuations affecting brain chemistry. This is a powerful reminder that feeling muram during this stage is not imagined—it is biologically influenced and deserves proper attention and care.
Not all women experience these changes in the same way. Some may have mild symptoms, while others feel a much stronger impact. Factors such as previous emotional health, ongoing stress, poor sleep, and lack of support can make symptoms more noticeable. Sleep, in particular, plays a very big role. Many women experience disrupted sleep during perimenopause—waking up at night, struggling to fall asleep, or not feeling rested even after a full night in bed. When you are constantly letih, your emotional regulation becomes weaker. You may feel more irritable, less patient, and more easily overwhelmed. This creates a cycle where poor sleep leads to mood changes, and mood changes further disrupt sleep.
These emotional and mental shifts can affect many areas of your life. At work, you may find it harder to concentrate, manage tasks, or stay motivated. You may feel less confident or worry that you are not performing as well as before. At home, relationships may feel strained because you are more sensitive or easily triggered. Internally, you may start questioning yourself, wondering why you cannot handle things the same way you used to. This self-doubt can be one of the hardest parts, especially when there is little awareness or conversation around what you are going through.
The good news is that there are ways to support yourself through this phase. The first and most important step is awareness. When you understand that these changes are linked to hormonal fluctuations, you can begin to respond with more compassion instead of self-judgment. Supporting your body with balanced nutrition, regular movement, and consistent sleep can make a meaningful difference. Simple practices like deep breathing, gentle exercise, or taking short breaks during the day can help calm your nervous system and reduce emotional intensity.
It is also important to talk about what you are experiencing. Whether it is with a trusted friend, a supportive community, or a healthcare professional, sharing your journey can help you feel less alone and more understood. If feelings of being muram become persistent or start to interfere with your daily life, seeking professional guidance is an important and empowering step.
Above all, remind yourself that you are not losing who you are. You are going through a natural biological transition that affects your mind as much as your body. The irritability, mood swings, and moments of feeling muram or letih are signals—not weaknesses. With the right understanding and support, you can navigate this phase with greater clarity and regain your sense of balance.
You are still you—strong, capable, and evolving through a stage of life that deserves care, awareness, and compassion. 💛